I used to enjoy walks. Walks to no where in particular.
I was also very patient. I didn’t mind having to wait outside on a beautiful day.
I enjoyed people.

My opinions have changed.
Have can I possibly enjoy people when everytime I encounter someone, I feel myself being drawn into a vapid, notionless conversation?
How can I enjoy walks when every single time I go out, I get heckled by at least two people who decide
it’d be a grand idea to insult the nearest pedestrian. Maybe even glare enviously as you walk by…or declare sometime obnoxious.

Not to mention how demeaning it can be to walk alone. I appreciate a pleasant sentiment, or a compliment. But an inappropriate remark does not flatter me. It pains me to have to put up with it and be told I should be grateful for it. Im sure I am merely another female with the same anatomical part. Any woman usually suffices for them.
Some women actually respond to it. What with vanity being at an all time high. It boosts their ego.

But I just want to keep to myself…and it seems I can’t do that…and it seems my desire for solitude makes it seem as if I am full of myself. I am not… not even the slightest. I just want peace.

(And yes, I do use the headphones trick. ppl don’t care)

As eloquently as I would like to express my feelings, I can’t. I am feeling nostalgic, remorseful, angry, and happy. I’m thinking of what was, what is… and what will be. 

A lot has happened and a lot hasn’t. 

I’m done. I’ll write another passage when the time is right. There’s too much I just don’t care about anymore.